2023 Bracket Challenge Results

Rusty went to Costa Rica.

Rybo to Italy.

Yes, during the tourney.

It doesn’t take a genius to see that they’ve lost their way. And if you love ’em like I do, you’re concerned. Combined, the two of them have zero championships.

How did KC Dubbs spend his Spring Break? In his basement, like a real family man.

And that, folks, is why he’s our first five-time Keep it in the Family champ. He’s won a quarter of our 20 contests, meaning he’s doing the work of three men plus Likens.

It’s about commitment, passion and onions. Some guys just aren’t made of the real stuff. But nobody can ever doubt the quality of character of Kevin C. Wilson. He’s a man’s man.

By the way, I also have a trip to Italy planned. But not during the fucking tournament. I’m not a jackass. Rather, I’m the 2022 champion.

This one was crazier than any we’ve yet seen with our lowest-ever winning score. Clark was the only one of us to correctly pick a Final Four entry with San Diego State. That’s it. Just the one. C-Note finished tied for third, held back by the work ethic of his millennial generation. Like so many his age, he doesn’t want to put forth the effort until the lights are shining their brightest. Sure, he turned it on in the Elite Eight when he finally got the attention he craved. But where was he through the first three rounds? You’ve got to work when nobody’s watching, Clark. Someday you’ll learn. It’s a matter of maturity.

Speaking of losers, let’s separate the haves from the have-nots after 20 years of beautiful tradition:

Kevin C. Wilson = 5 championships
Dan McClure = 4 championships
Matt Cullen = 3 championships
Jon Heinz = 2 championships
Trevor Schmidt = 2 championships
Brennan Hitpas = 2 championships
Joe Fernandez = 1 championship
Marc Sheforgen = 1 championship

Rusty Gundrum = 0 championships
Clark Wildenradt = 0 championships
Brad Likens = 0 championships
Ryan Dardis = 0 championships
Sam Osborne = 0 championships

Sammy rebounded quite well from the depths of disaster. You’ll remember that he failed to submit a bracket last year. This year, Sam charged hard. But karma struck him down, keeping him two points shy of his first-ever title. According to the gods, his penance still carries a balance. It’ll likely be a couple more decades before his sins are absolved.

Here’s our final tally:

Kevin = 55
Sam = 53
Jon = 50
Clark = 50
Matt = 50
Brad = 46
Brennan = 43
Dan = 43
Joe = 42
Trevor = 42
Ryan = 41
Rusty = 38
Marc = 38

As you know, we’re back with CBS. We only left out of loyalty to Rusty, who took a job with Yahoo. Well, Rusty got shit-canned a few weeks back (T&P for him), so we stand in solidarity in our defiance of Yahoo. CBS always was so much better anyway. Not sure what Rusty ever saw in those other assholes.

Adios, muchachos.

Commissioner Sheforgen