2017 Bracket Challenge Results

$360 – The price of a soul. Trevor sold his own naming rights some time ago, the amount undisclosed. He goes by Travis now, the nondisclosure agreement precluding him from even objecting in public. Speculative analysis based on comparative data suggests that the name change cost less than $100. We know thanks to public records that Travis sold his soul for just $360. An alleged alumnus of Oregon (no document has ever been produced), Travis nonetheless was seen openly rooting for North Carolina against his Ducks in this year’s Final Four. All because he was the only one among us who had North Carolina winning it all. They did. And he now has his second title and another $360. But at what price?

Ryan “Cabs and Conference Rooms” Dardis is doing his best to present the illusion that he doesn’t respect our competition. By extension, he’s trying to tell you, straight to your face, that he doesn’t respect you. Travis might be OK with that. Slip him a couple bucks, and he’ll go along with anything. But what about the rest of us? This year, Dardis had to be harassed by phone as the first tip of the first game approached. His response to pleas for his picks at 10:57 a.m. was, “How much time do I have?” He stated – either for you to be impressed or as confirmation that he hates you – that he was making his picks “on the tarmac” as he waited for his plane to taxi. He was vacationing in Phoenix. Not for the Final Four. Not to attend any games. No, he was vacationing during the first and second round games – away from TVs. Dardis made his picks from the hip, relaying them verbally over the phone with no more than two seconds thought given to any selection. What’s more, he didn’t pay his entry fee until yesterday. That’s what he thinks of our competition. That’s what he thinks of you.

Sheriff Jon Brown Heinz was on the case from the get go, alerting the league office of Dardis’ truancy as game time approached. Heinz checked in at three-minute intervals until the picks were secured and published (number of smokes audibly destroyed remains undisclosed). You ain’t gonna sprinkle your seeds of aloofness and arrogance on the Sheriff’s watch. Kill it before it grows. Good work, as always.

Travis won this in classic tortoise fashion. Nothing at all flashy. He just hung around in the middle of the pack, round after round, biding his time. His coup de grace, of course, was his correct pick of North Carolina to win it all – our first correct champion pick in four years. Before that, Travis didn’t have the most Final Four picks (Dardis and KC Dubbs), he didn’t have the most Elite Eight (Rusty), nor the most Sweet 16 (Breese), not even the most Round Two winners (Breese and Heinz). But he was steady in every single round, keeping himself close enough to the teller’s window to cash out after Carolina’s championship. Well played.

KC Dubbs finished runner-up for the second straight year. Over the last decade, he’s finished in the Top Three 70 percent of the time, including three titles.

The final tally:

Trevor: 72
Kevin: 68
Jon: 67
Rusty: 65
Dan: 65
Marc: 62
Brennan: 59
Ryan: 59
Joe: 58
Clark: 54
Matt: 48
Brad: 43

That’s 15 years in the books. Sweet 16 next year. Kind of a rite of passage.